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Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (And More Life to Live)

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A revolutionary, real-world solution to the problem of unpaid, invisible work that women have shouldered for too long. It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the "shefault" parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family -- and then sent that list to her husband, asking A revolutionary, real-world solution to the problem of unpaid, invisible work that women have shouldered for too long. It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the "shefault" parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family -- and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was... underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it. The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a figurative card game you play with your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner. "Winning" this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space -- as in, the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in.


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A revolutionary, real-world solution to the problem of unpaid, invisible work that women have shouldered for too long. It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the "shefault" parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family -- and then sent that list to her husband, asking A revolutionary, real-world solution to the problem of unpaid, invisible work that women have shouldered for too long. It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the "shefault" parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family -- and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was... underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it. The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a figurative card game you play with your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner. "Winning" this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space -- as in, the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in.

30 review for Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (And More Life to Live)

  1. 4 out of 5

    lisa

    An interesting book, and somewhat comforting to read. As a DINK I don't have a lot of these issues talked about in the book, but it has struck me that even though I have a full time job, with a half hour commute on either end, I end up doing all the housework, grocery shopping, meal execution, household repairs, budgeting, etc. while my husband uses his spare time to volunteer, attend political forums, have coffee "meetings" with every mover and shaker in the city, and play on his Ipad. And get An interesting book, and somewhat comforting to read. As a DINK I don't have a lot of these issues talked about in the book, but it has struck me that even though I have a full time job, with a half hour commute on either end, I end up doing all the housework, grocery shopping, meal execution, household repairs, budgeting, etc. while my husband uses his spare time to volunteer, attend political forums, have coffee "meetings" with every mover and shaker in the city, and play on his Ipad. And get cranky when dinner is not planned, or when he is forced to eat leftovers two night in a row instead of having fresh food made for him. So I was excited to get an ARC of this book. I felt a lot of sympathy for the author, and the other women discussed in the book, as I could see flashes of myself in them, and I actually was (again) SOOOOOOO grateful for the fact that I don't have any children, because there is no way I could deal with those hassles. However, although the author clearly came from a background that should make her empathetic of single working mothers, her book only applies to a married couple. A married couple with a decent amount of education and money, with fairly traditional jobs. I couldn't see how a single parent of several children, who receives minimal support from their former partner, who may be working multiple minimum wage jobs would be able to participate in this card game. Which struck me as odd, since this scenario is very similar to the way the author claims she was raised. She talks her head off about Unicorn Space, but I know full well that working single mothers DO NOT HAVE THE TIME OR RESOURCES to partake in such a thing, not matter how much Eve Rodsky insists they can. Despite the fact that at the beginning of the book she makes a vague promise that she interviewed people across racial and socioeconomic backgrounds, I did not once see evidence of this in any of her proposed solutions. This book is obviously meant to appeal to white, upper middle class, college educated women, which is fine, but that leaves a majority of women out of the conversation, including myself. I wish it had attempted to appeal to a wider audience, especially since there were points made that really struck me. For example, I think the idea of Unicorn Space is a great idea for me, since I haven't pursued it much since I got married. Luckily, I don't have kids, and I have enough in savings to take it on. I also like that she points out that we should all strive to remain interesting instead of becoming stagnant and stuck, but again, this point falls flat to a parent living on the edge of homelessness, trying to get their family from one hour to the next, praying that a missed day of work will not derail them. It will find an audience, but it won't be me, or anyone I know.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Alexis Jemal

    Before reading Fair Play, I wondered what would happen to my children if I died. Would they grow up in squalor, never having their hair combed and teeth brushed, or clean clothes to wear? Would they never see the doctor or dentist again for their regular check-ups? After reading Fair Play, I realized that of course not…my kids would be absolutely fine, because my husband is a reasonable and smart man, and thus, he would simply remarry. Simply stated, Fair Play is about equitably restructuring Before reading Fair Play, I wondered what would happen to my children if I died. Would they grow up in squalor, never having their hair combed and teeth brushed, or clean clothes to wear? Would they never see the doctor or dentist again for their regular check-ups? After reading Fair Play, I realized that of course not…my kids would be absolutely fine, because my husband is a reasonable and smart man, and thus, he would simply remarry. Simply stated, Fair Play is about equitably restructuring the domestic division of labor, a complex topic that has been discussed in-depth for decades, but without a revolutionary, systematic resolution, until now. However, before diving headfirst into the depths of this discussion, we would be remiss if we did not acknowledge that this topic of domestic workload overlaps multiple social constructs: sexuality, race, gender, and class. These varying degrees of intersecting socially constructed identities make for real life consequences and differences for those occupying these identities. For example, a white, wealthy, cisgender woman in a heterosexual marriage will have a very different experience than a black, impoverished, transwoman in a same gender marriage. In sum, when you add various social identities together, there are increased odds of having specific types of advantaging or disadvantaging experiences, producing inequity (oppression or privilege) that is compounded over time. However, these differences that our social identities bring into the equation are not what keep us divided. Our refusal to acknowledge these differences and the resulting differences in our oppressions in ways that motivate us to think about and to act against inequity maintains and widens the divisions. It takes compassion, self-awareness and critical consciousness to identify the similarities that exist within our lives across differences while also interrogating the inequities and injustices upon which this country was founded. The topic of domestic division of labor allows us to do both. The opposite of oppression is equity, justice, or fairness, rather than equality. Equity is the result of a humanizing process that takes into consideration individual circumstances and the differential effects of sociopolitical contexts; whereas equality ignores precipitating, historical and causal factors and only focuses on equal input. Courage and honest dialogue with open-minded listening are required to step up to difficult conversations about past and current injustice, which is the first step out of inequity. Beware of deflection strategies that perpetuate the cycle of inequity. Deflection strategies divert attention from pertinent ideas and actions to irrelevant issues. One deflection strategy is the belief in myths such as the 24-hour woman or the work-life balance. We are taught to believe the impossible is attainable. Inevitably, when we fall short, we blame our shortcomings for failure. We believe there’s something wrong with us rather than fault the myth. Setting the goal for perfection sets everyone up for failure: obviously, a no win situation. The main take away from Fair Play that I received is that we can all win if we play this game of life fairly. In an inequitable system of patriarchy men are more likely to receive systemic advantages over women that may increase their sociopolitical, economic standings to a 7 on the accomplishment scale of 1 – 10; and, women, because of systemic disadvantage, may be at a 4 on that same scale. If we partner to fight for equity, then we can all be at a 9. An equitable system benefits everyone. We all have something to gain and no one has to lose. Equity creates a win-win. There’s a historical context and a sociopolitical climate that allows the current division of domestic workload to exist. Fair Play brings into focus the role that macro-systems (i.e., culture, norms, mores) play within micro contexts and the cyclical relationship between the public and private sphere, such that, private troubles become public problems and public issues become private struggles. Culture, systems, and policies manifest at the intrapersonal level – that is, within our individual thoughts and behaviors, such as prejudices and discrimination – as well as within our interpersonal relationships. External values invade our homes, controlling our way of domestic life, such that our homes are microcosms of American culture and society. Redistributing the domestic workload requires a paradigm shift from the inequitable practices that occur outside our homes to standards of equity within our homes. Fair Play gives us permission to create our own values that introduce equity into our households, creating an equitable shift in domestic workload, and setting examples for our children: that is the revolution. Once working towards equity in our private lives, then it’s time to take the fight public to address the socio-structural issues that have squatted for too long in our homes, adversely possessing our minds, relationships and time. It’s important to remember that the issue is not men against women or wives versus husbands. Our partners are not the enemy. It’s not a revolution if we’re fighting each other - rather the fight should be between us and the systems of inequity. Mothers and fathers can work together to transform the system. United households can advocate for affordable childcare options and employment policies that support families. “In a world of possibility for us all, our personal visions help lay the groundwork for political action” (Audre Lorde, p. 112). The sum of our individual differences should not divide us on issues regarding our collective liberation. Fair Play was not written in a vacuum void of sociopolitical realities. The research in Fair Play was done with due diligence, remaining cognizant of the fact that social science research tends to have samples with people who have dominant social identities (e.g., heterosexual, white). Those samples seem to reflect the identities of those conducting the research. With this in mind, Fair Play had a respectable sample size of 507 people; 37% were people of color. Although Fair Play was not authored by a social science researcher, the sample is probably more diverse than many research studies about the gender division of labor, which suggests that Fair Play has a wider applicability. Although it is difficult to write for a broad audience, Fair Play acknowledges that we share similar experiences across social identities and the inequitable division of labor affects us all. Everyone’s personal situation is nuanced and complex. Thus, the effect of this issue will be different, but the issue remains the same. Regardless of one’s positionality on the social hierarchy, the Fair Play system can provide insight and apply to your particular circumstances. We can start a revolution within our households, sweep the public sphere clean of social norms and cultural mores that uphold inequitable domestic labor practices, producing a ripple effect to future generations, thus, transforming America one marriage at a time. The worst thing we can tell ourselves and our children is: “that’s just the way it is,” because the way it is, doesn’t have to be. We make the choice to maintain or change with every action or non-action. Here’s a thought experiment for you while you read Fair Play: Imagine what could be different about you, your relationships and the world, if we collectively decided to play fair.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Moira

    This is the October @reesesbookclub selection. As a single woman who lives alone, I did not relate to this book. I find this to be such a miss for RBC as it really alienated me. This was clearly a vanity project for the author and I disliked the tone of several of her statements. I found the game to be confusing, and so much of it is based on your perceived opinions of your partner that I can’t imagine this would actually go over well. Maybe if I was at a different point in life this book would This is the October @reesesbookclub selection. As a single woman who lives alone, I did not relate to this book. I find this to be such a miss for RBC as it really alienated me. This was clearly a vanity project for the author and I disliked the tone of several of her statements. I found the game to be confusing, and so much of it is based on your perceived opinions of your partner that I can’t imagine this would actually go over well. Maybe if I was at a different point in life this book would have been more beneficial.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Nicole (Read Eat Sleep Repeat)

    I first discovered Fair Play when browsing through Bustle and was intrigued by the concept of a system that gamifies the distribution of household work to achieve better balance. Curious to find out more, I immediately requested a copy from my library. The premise of Fair Play is that all household related tasks are turned into cards to create a deck that is customized to your family, and then those cards are dealt (and re-dealt) as needed to establish who will be in charge of each task. It I first discovered Fair Play when browsing through Bustle and was intrigued by the concept of a system that gamifies the distribution of household work to achieve better balance. Curious to find out more, I immediately requested a copy from my library. The premise of Fair Play is that all household related tasks are turned into cards to create a deck that is customized to your family, and then those cards are dealt (and re-dealt) as needed to establish who will be in charge of each task. It breaks this down into several steps that couples can follow to play the game. And if that’s what works for people, that’s wonderful. But I don’t necessarily know if this system will work for everyone. In the end, Fair Play was a decent read. It did get somewhat repetitive as the book progressed and I skimmed the last quarter or so. What this book does do wonderfully is stress the importance of clear communication and gives a vocabulary for all players to use so that they are on the same page. If that sounds like something you need in your life, I’d recommend at least giving it a shot.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Genevieve Trono

    If you follow me on social media, you know I have been going on and on about Fair Play but I am just so excited about it. I love parenting books, I love self-help and relationship books and as soon as I saw the premise of this I knew I needed to read it ASAP! The adjustment to parenthood did not happen super easily for us both personally and in our relationship together. It was a huge transition and we struggled in many ways as we navigated our new roles and expectations of one another. “On many If you follow me on social media, you know I have been going on and on about Fair Play but I am just so excited about it. I love parenting books, I love self-help and relationship books and as soon as I saw the premise of this I knew I needed to read it ASAP! The adjustment to parenthood did not happen super easily for us both personally and in our relationship together. It was a huge transition and we struggled in many ways as we navigated our new roles and expectations of one another. “On many days, feeling the full weight of exhaustion that would seize me the moment my baby was down and I was finally offline, I’d wonder What did I do all day? When even I couldn’t answer the question, there was no doubt in my mind that I’d lost all control of my time. Sound familiar?” While we have learned a lot as the years have gone by, figuring out the daily logistics of life with work, marriage, kids and our household tasks is a constant juggling act. Fair Play both takes on and tackles the topics of the mental load, second shift, emotional labor and invisible work that in the 21st century still cause a great imbalance in many family’s home lives. Not only is Eve Rodsky’s writing accessible and totally relatable, but it is also helpful! I love a good plan. I feel the absolute worst when life feels tough and I don’t know what my next steps are going to be. Even when things are still rocky, when I am moving forward, things always feel more manageable. Rodsky created a simple and straightforward approach to help equitably restructuring the balance of domestic “duties” while also factoring in time to focus on creative and personal growth so that everyone feels fulfilled and happy. While our relationship does follow a similar path as Rodsky’s (heterosexual married couple with kids) she has also done her due diligence. Rodsky worked with 500+ couples to include a wide variety of multiple social constructs which can alter perspectives, challenges, and accessibility so this book really is for everyone! Her Q&A on her own website is super informative if you are looking to learn more about why she took on this project. Resources like this are so awesome to help raise awareness of these important conversations that are so important to navigating family life. Thank you to Putnam for sending this amazing book mail and to Edelweiss for an ARC ebook edition.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Kaytee Cobb

    I thought this was interesting but ocelot idealistic. I think it would be useful for two full time working patents to go through this game together and play, but for SAHM, which Rodsky says she is also (mostly?) talking to, I think the most important message here is: make time for self care, adult relationships, and "unicorn space". And have your partner get on board with that. There, i just saved you having to read this book.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Snem

    I’m hesitant to say too much about this or rate it because I’m not the intended audience. As such I’m surprised Reese Witherspoon would select a book that alienates a large percentage of her book club readers. This book did make me appreciate all that parents, in particular moms, do. If I didn’t want kids or marriage before I certainly don’t want it now. This sealed the deal. This is hetero-normative and gendered to the hilt and that’s a real missed opportunity. While same sex couples are I’m hesitant to say too much about this or rate it because I’m not the intended audience. As such I’m surprised Reese Witherspoon would select a book that alienates a large percentage of her book club readers. This book did make me appreciate all that parents, in particular moms, do. If I didn’t want kids or marriage before I certainly don’t want it now. This sealed the deal. This is hetero-normative and gendered to the hilt and that’s a real missed opportunity. While same sex couples are mentioned here and there, really examining how non-traditional households handle the never ending to-do list would have been interesting. Also what about exploring the division of labor in the households of other cultures? I’m sorry but words like “systemization” and “efficiency” and “expectations” appear throughout this. Doesn’t that make marriage and family sound fun and joyous? Yuck! And no amount of “it’s a card game! It’s so fun” is going to change my opinion from yuck. Again, I recognize that I’m not the audience for this. If you’re an overwhelmed and underappreciated parent, perhaps give this a read you might get a lot more out of it than I did.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Janssen

    I thought this was really fascinating and really a helpful way to think through the challenge of running a household in partnership.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Jennifer Berry

    This book is a marvel! It reads like a gripping novel while packed with historical references, funny antidotes, and most importantly a practical game plan for change! Ms. Rodsky taps into the place where even the most liberated of women find it hard to fight: their own homes. This book will transform our current culture’s hold on female resource and give women and men back our most valuable comity: TIME. For anyone thinking about making a relationship with a true equality, this book is for you. This book is a marvel! It reads like a gripping novel while packed with historical references, funny antidotes, and most importantly a practical game plan for change! Ms. Rodsky taps into the place where even the most liberated of women find it hard to fight: their own homes. This book will transform our current culture’s hold on female resource and give women and men back our most valuable comity: TIME. For anyone thinking about making a relationship with a true equality, this book is for you. -Jennifer Berry, Author & Professor of Women & Gender Studies, California State University Northridge.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Renee

    Anyone who has been in a relationship where they are sharing their lives under one roof will find something of interest in Fair Play. I can't speak for everyone, but for most of my friends and my relationship, the scale never seems balanced when it comes to taking care of the place called home(and the children or fur babies). Fair Play presents a plan for a more even distribution of the myriad of tasks that have to be dealt with on an ongoing basis. It is written in a thought-provoking and Anyone who has been in a relationship where they are sharing their lives under one roof will find something of interest in Fair Play. I can't speak for everyone, but for most of my friends and my relationship, the scale never seems balanced when it comes to taking care of the place called home(and the children or fur babies). Fair Play presents a plan for a more even distribution of the myriad of tasks that have to be dealt with on an ongoing basis. It is written in a thought-provoking and engaging way, that may lead to some well-needed adult conversations. Too often, arguments ensue when people are frustrated, and I can see how taking the emotion out of the conversation, and approaching it logically, as you would at work, can lead to a better outcome. That may be the hardest part of trying to improve the situation at home, but after all, we would all agree that running a home and having a family is a second job, so why not treat it the way you treat your paying job? It is well- researched, well thought out, and may well save a relationship or two. This book gave me quite a lot to think about and I am eager to see where it takes me. US publication – October 1, 2019 I received a DRC from Putnam through NetGalley. My Review System: 5 stars – Absolutely loved everything about the book! It was unique or presented something differently, and I couldn't put it down. Highly recommended. 4 stars – A really solid read that made me glad I read the book. Didn't keep me up all night or make me abandon my plans, but I would recommend it without hesitation. 3 stars – An ok read and I might try another book by the same author to see if their writing style is a good fit for me. 2 stars – The book just didn't work for me. 1 star – I have never read a 1-star book( yet, fingers crossed), but I would have to hate it to give it this rating.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Ericka Clouther

    This book is only for two-parent homes struggling to find a balance in at-home responsibilities. There were a lot of things it left unaddressed- such as workaholic spouses, or as numerous reviews stated, any kind of lower-class home (where for example maybe one person works a night shift). If you want it only for that very limited area, it's helpful. I happen to have a husband who is not only doing a fair amount but might also be doing an equal amount (or more?). But one thing I've noticed in my This book is only for two-parent homes struggling to find a balance in at-home responsibilities. There were a lot of things it left unaddressed- such as workaholic spouses, or as numerous reviews stated, any kind of lower-class home (where for example maybe one person works a night shift). If you want it only for that very limited area, it's helpful. I happen to have a husband who is not only doing a fair amount but might also be doing an equal amount (or more?). But one thing I've noticed in my friends' relationships-- that this book addresses (though perhaps not clearly enough) is that many mothers take on a bunch of tasks that are actually not at all important to their husbands. I think the reason I notice this so much is because I'm not the type of mother who feels like we need to craft for every holiday or decorate to excess or aggressively participate in my children's homework etc. I have "husband standards" for many things. So when I see a friend who is a mother sign each of her kid up for three activities and then bemoan that her husband won't help with all of them- I silently agree with the husband. Her standard is just too high in my opinion. That's why I think the most valuable part of this book is the part where she makes couples agree on their values and what tasks need to get done before they apportion those tasks. The more tasks you can just completely take off the list so that neither person has to do them, the better, in my opinion. I've been recommending this book to people I know might benefit from it.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Meredith Mara

    4.5/5 stars :) Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Breanne Tuttle

    I picked this up bc it was the Reese Witherspoon pick for October. My sis skimmed it and told me I could skip it, even though we are reading all the RW picks. It’s solely focused on moms with kids. This is not me. If I got anything from skimming the first few pages of this book, it’s that everyone’s time is valuable and my valuable time should be spent on a book I’ll enjoy more.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Marie Comeau

    Picked up this book because of Reese’s bookclub. Although there was obviously a lot of research done and she does point out some good points. It sounds like she wants to impose this “game” to their marriage, delegate while still supervising tasks instead of making the relationship a true partnership. What gave this book only two stars was the tone. Men are trash, woman are superior. Husband, if you don’t play this game, our whole marriage is at risks. She also make you put labels on yourself and Picked up this book because of Reese’s bookclub. Although there was obviously a lot of research done and she does point out some good points. It sounds like she wants to impose this “game” to their marriage, delegate while still supervising tasks instead of making the relationship a true partnership. What gave this book only two stars was the tone. Men are trash, woman are superior. Husband, if you don’t play this game, our whole marriage is at risks. She also make you put labels on yourself and your partner. There’s too many good books out there about communication, vulnerability and partnerships that makes you feel empowered but also shine a positive light. This book simply made me feel angry and made me think things about my partner that are not truly happening the way the author tries to make it seems.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Jordyn Gier

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I had to stop reading this half way in. She does an extremely unfair job of portraying a man's contribution in the household. The most laughable part to me was when she was splitting up their lists of "shit they do" and gave each of her tasks sub-points. She gave herself "taking care of the pet" and there were several sub-points to the extent of buying the dog food, taking them to vet appointments, etc. Meanwhile, she gave her husband 1) manage the finances and 2) cars and maintenance. TWO I had to stop reading this half way in. She does an extremely unfair job of portraying a man's contribution in the household. The most laughable part to me was when she was splitting up their lists of "shit they do" and gave each of her tasks sub-points. She gave herself "taking care of the pet" and there were several sub-points to the extent of buying the dog food, taking them to vet appointments, etc. Meanwhile, she gave her husband 1) manage the finances and 2) cars and maintenance. TWO THINGS. WHAT?! Taking care of the pet gets a list of sub-points and managing the household finances gets ONE??? Does she understand what all goes into this? I don't know.. just didn't like the light that she shined on what her husband contributed and felt she was coming from a place of man-hating that I can't exactly relate to.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Monica Leed

    My friend Julie, a mom and business owner said recently, "If I lean in any more, I will fall over." It stuck right to the heart of what so many women I know are dealing with as they strive for balance in career and family, always on the brink of falling off the edge. What if we had the opportunity to balance the scales at home? What if my husband and I decided to plan out the division of labor at home before we had kids? What if I could actually quantify my domestic workload and give my husband My friend Julie, a mom and business owner said recently, "If I lean in any more, I will fall over." It stuck right to the heart of what so many women I know are dealing with as they strive for balance in career and family, always on the brink of falling off the edge. What if we had the opportunity to balance the scales at home? What if my husband and I decided to plan out the division of labor at home before we had kids? What if I could actually quantify my domestic workload and give my husband more than his 4%? I am finding answers in Eve's book and pretty excited about what could happen I planned home management the way I plan my business. This is a must-read in for women in 2019.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Suellen

    #ReeseWitherspoon Book Club October 2019 pick I listened to about 50% of this self-help audiobook and just couldn’t take it any more. Too much anger and talk of “unicorn space”! It’s actually quite sad that modern relationships have become so petty — couples trying to one-up each other.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Christine Fitzgerald

    I have mixed feeling about this book. So many of the sentiments Eve said rang true to my life as a full time working mother who holds 87 cards and somewhere keeps the family afloat. At the same time, I felt this was a little silly... a card game to play with husband to make sure I wasn’t the one doing all the work? So my takeaway is that even if I don’t use the fair play cards or card game, it’s got me starting the discussion with husband on how to share some of responsibilities, it also has me I have mixed feeling about this book. So many of the sentiments Eve said rang true to my life as a full time working mother who holds 87 cards and somewhere keeps the family afloat. At the same time, I felt this was a little silly... a card game to play with husband to make sure I wasn’t the one doing all the work? So my takeaway is that even if I don’t use the fair play cards or card game, it’s got me starting the discussion with husband on how to share some of responsibilities, it also has me asking the questions like why? Why do my children need to be involved in everything?

  19. 4 out of 5

    Emily at Reaching While Rooted

    So this book just didn’t apply to my experiences. Most of the premises were things I find my husband and I naturally do in an effort to split labor, so I guess that makes me a lucky girl? I enjoyed the premise of the book, and that BOTH people need a unicorn space to be fulfilled, and in our early years of marriage it would have given me the words and approaches to split the work/ask for help without all the fights and tears that accompanied it. I especially liked the concept that all time is So this book just didn’t apply to my experiences. Most of the premises were things I find my husband and I naturally do in an effort to split labor, so I guess that makes me a lucky girl? I enjoyed the premise of the book, and that BOTH people need a unicorn space to be fulfilled, and in our early years of marriage it would have given me the words and approaches to split the work/ask for help without all the fights and tears that accompanied it. I especially liked the concept that all 👏 time 👏 is created 👏 equal. Mkay?

  20. 5 out of 5

    Sarah Cooper

    Made some good points but mostly made me depressed about the never-ending-ness of all of this.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Isley Forrester

    I enjoyed! Hubs needs to read it!!

  22. 4 out of 5

    Jillian Doherty

    Seriously - whether you're married or cohabitating, child-free, gay or straight - there is something in this book for every relationship - give it a try to see why it's going to be a total game changer! Eve Rodsky created the Fair Play system in response to her own struggle to balance work and family life with her two children. Rodsky has worked with 500+ couples from all walks of life to develop its core principles - bringing a wealth of perspectives and accessibility. I love this book! Galley Seriously - whether you're married or cohabitating, child-free, gay or straight - there is something in this book for every relationship - give it a try to see why it's going to be a total game changer! Eve Rodsky created the Fair Play system in response to her own struggle to balance work and family life with her two children. Rodsky has worked with 500+ couples from all walks of life to develop its core principles - bringing a wealth of perspectives and accessibility. I love this book! Galley borrowed from the publisher.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Michal Cohen-Rodsky

    After having kids, I found myself being swallowed up in this new life. I felt miserable, lonely, frustrated but eager to achieve balance at home and in my personal life. Eve’s game changing plan is simple and straightforward and can work for any couple open to change. Why not take the framework of running a company and apply it to life at home. Everyone has a role and together we work as a team to carry the load. Thank you Eve!!

  24. 5 out of 5

    Gisselle Diaz (gissellereads)

    One topic I’m very passionate about is how couples make things work at home. It’s something that our friend group talks about often and I’m always interested in how couples do things differently and the impact it has. When I saw this was Reese Witherspoon book club pick for October I had to read it. For context I’m not married, don’t have kids but live with my boyfriend and I am career oriented. I wanted to see if the Fair Play approach could be something that would work for “childless” couples. One topic I’m very passionate about is how couples make things work at home. It’s something that our friend group talks about often and I’m always interested in how couples do things differently and the impact it has. When I saw this was Reese Witherspoon book club pick for October I had to read it. For context I’m not married, don’t have kids but live with my boyfriend and I am career oriented. I wanted to see if the Fair Play approach could be something that would work for “childless” couples. I loved reading about fairness vs 50/50 and how to achieve that. I think the concepts the book talks about make sense and I’m looking forward to implement some. There’s ton of research and real life examples included, some of them are funny and some more serious. Loved the tone of the book. Overall, it was a little hard to visualize how fair play looks like for a couple without kids because the book focuses so much on that aspect. Maybe there could be a spinoff book focused on couples without kids? I got your next book idea Eve! This book has already been a topic of discussion among friends. I started talking about it with them before I finished reading the book and we had some great discussions about the topic. I’m definitely sharing this book with my them to read. I LOVED the concept of Unicorn Space! Because I don’t have kids I realized I already have this (Bookstagram and future blog 😉). The book made me appreciate it more since it talks about how many couples with kids don’t get to have this space where they work on their passions. This is a book that I can see myself revisiting when we have kids (when we have more cards to play with) but I definitely recommend it.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Lori Palmer (Palmer's Page Turners)

    I read this book because I'm reading all the Reese Witherspoon book club picks. As a married woman with no kids whose husband travels a lot for work, this book just didn't apply to me and I couldn't relate. This book is definitely for a specific audience. This was a disappointing RW book pick for me, but that is not Rodsky's fault. I am not giving this book a star rating because I don't want a low star rating to negatively affect the book/author. Had I not committed to reading all the RW book I read this book because I'm reading all the Reese Witherspoon book club picks. As a married woman with no kids whose husband travels a lot for work, this book just didn't apply to me and I couldn't relate. This book is definitely for a specific audience. This was a disappointing RW book pick for me, but that is not Rodsky's fault. I am not giving this book a star rating because I don't want a low star rating to negatively affect the book/author. Had I not committed to reading all the RW book picks, I wouldn't have chosen to read this book based on the description.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Melissa Wells

    Fair Play had some interesting ideas. I like the concept of delegating the entirety of tasks (conception, planning, execution), but she’s too rigid in her insistence that all tasks should always work like that. The unicorn space is also an interesting concept, but I disliked the threat that if you didn’t come up with one quick you would become boring and your husband would divorce you lol. The “which type of husband” is yours quiz had terrible choices! Like no ‘my husband is a Fair Play had some interesting ideas. I like the concept of delegating the entirety of tasks (conception, planning, execution), but she’s too rigid in her insistence that all tasks should always work like that. The unicorn space is also an interesting concept, but I disliked the threat that if you didn’t come up with one quick you would become boring and your husband would divorce you lol. The “which type of husband” is yours quiz had terrible choices! Like no ‘my husband is a mature/caring/capable adult’ options, but maybe it’s assumed you wouldn’t be reading the book if that was the case? Overall, the actual game of Fair Play doesn’t seem to be the right fit for me, but it was an interesting read.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Natasha

    This is a revolutionary book that not only puts into perspective the amount of hidden work that typically one partner is by default assigned (usually the female) but also provides you with an insanely detailed solution to help even out the responsibility meter. I won this book as a part of Goodreads Giveaway and will be recommending this read to everyone in a partnership so they too can maybe benefit from the painstaking research that author Eve did and then honed into a 'game' of sorts. This This is a revolutionary book that not only puts into perspective the amount of hidden work that typically one partner is by default assigned (usually the female) but also provides you with an insanely detailed solution to help even out the responsibility meter. I won this book as a part of Goodreads Giveaway and will be recommending this read to everyone in a partnership so they too can maybe benefit from the painstaking research that author Eve did and then honed into a 'game' of sorts. This game is incredibly detailed and organized and even though I am not currently in a relationship I can still use this information to help organize my life! Although I can't play the game yet, I can still benefit from the information it provides, which is amazing in it of itself. Bravo, Eve. This is an amazing book that should be a manual provided for any couple upon marriage or coupling. Give this book a read! It will benefit you whether you are in a relationship or not.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Courtney Kaull

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading Fair Play! Eve Rodsky delivers a helpful, easy to understand routine for making daily tasks more balanced between spouses. I found myself laughing out loud as she offered all too familiar anecdotes and exemplars to roll out her clever, well researched plan for helping couples avoid resentment and focus on what’s important. She brings together her insight from her law and business background as well as her experience as a mother to lay out tips that speak to the I thoroughly enjoyed reading Fair Play! Eve Rodsky delivers a helpful, easy to understand routine for making daily tasks more balanced between spouses. I found myself laughing out loud as she offered all too familiar anecdotes and exemplars to roll out her clever, well researched plan for helping couples avoid resentment and focus on what’s important. She brings together her insight from her law and business background as well as her experience as a mother to lay out tips that speak to the businessperson in all of us. I can’t wait to implement Fair Play in my relationship and work on developing my Unicorn Space!

  29. 5 out of 5

    Kathleen Bianchi

    I won this book in a Goodreads contest. It is an absolutely great way for most women to do a fair share of the care of a household/childcare. Of course, you have to have a man that isn't stuck in the 1950s. Like my husband was in the 1970s, lol. I thought of my daughter the entire time I was reading this book She has an incredibly demanding job and then comes home and does most of the household stuff. The author explains that it isn't how much money your time is worth but that time is equal to I won this book in a Goodreads contest. It is an absolutely great way for most women to do a fair share of the care of a household/childcare. Of course, you have to have a man that isn't stuck in the 1950s. Like my husband was in the 1970s, lol. I thought of my daughter the entire time I was reading this book She has an incredibly demanding job and then comes home and does most of the household stuff. The author explains that it isn't how much money your time is worth but that time is equal to time. So often Women are delegated to all the household and childrearing work because they don't make the money or as much of it. It is hard to believe in this day and age that there is still "women's work". This book will really open your eyes to how much women do that's unpaid and not acknowledged.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Shelly

    I’m happy to report that I don’t necessarily need this method at my house. We both pitch in and adjust as needed. However, this book reminded me just how much minutia goes into running a household. I began really noticing how much crap we’re doing to keep our family of four alive, well, and functioning. The author’s lists of cards and CPE was exhausting. In the end, I feel blessed to have a helpful husband and I feel a renewed appreciation for the duties of homemaking, family rearing, marriage, I’m happy to report that I don’t necessarily need this method at my house. We both pitch in and adjust as needed. However, this book reminded me just how much minutia goes into running a household. I began really noticing how much crap we’re doing to keep our family of four alive, well, and functioning. The author’s lists of cards and CPE was exhausting. In the end, I feel blessed to have a helpful husband and I feel a renewed appreciation for the duties of homemaking, family rearing, marriage, and life in general.

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